Morning story; enjoying the process

She woke up to Beethoven, the soothing yet startling strains of the woodwinds unraveling the edges of her sleep. The violas and cellos continued the unwinding, and suddenly, she was up. She checked in with herself. She knew she wanted pancakes.

Downstairs, she pet her beautiful dog. She put on water to boil for coffee and melted butter for the ‘cakes. She let herself out to pee, as well as her dog, and marveled again at the April warmth and the earliness of the light.

She decided to eat each pancake as it came off the pan, to save time, she thought, but also because she didn’t want to wait. She listened to a story about people wanting to see their loved ones’ bodies after they had died, and then a story about a man whose mother was having a heart attack and how he managed his mentally ill brother. It was time to make a smoothie. She got blueberry juice on her knuckles from the freezer bag, creating a nasty faux bruise.

She got in the car with her dog and her things and drove to the trailhead for a quick walk. The dog needed to get out the wiggles. She thought about being enough, she looked at the different colors in the spruce trees, and she wondered when these trails would inevitably become a swamp, impassable until next winter. She turned around earlier than normal to give herself enough time to get to school.

The drive was a treat; dry roads. She arrived to animal quarters at 7:50 am and learned that her help that morning wasn’t needed.

There is a certain feeling she gets when she has planned a plan and that plan is cancelled. It’s like floating. It’s like a balloon released from a child’s hand.

She goes back to her office, in the quiet, empty building. It’s been a hard couple of days for her. It often feels like her days are hard. Her friend last night told her she wasn’t too much, but she feels like that. Anyone who touches her will eventually hear the stories of feeling lost, feeling afraid, feeling sad.

But, she remembers, this blog is called Positive Affirmations for Women. So, she wants to leave whoever is reading this with a positive idea, one that connects with her little morning story. Keep on trying. Keep on trying to find lasting peace and happiness within your heart. Remember those who love and support you. Find safety in their embraces and in their words. Keep getting outside and be there, really be there. Enjoy the process.

Pancakes

My favorite meal is breakfast, and my favorite breakfast food is a pancake.

It probably all started with my dad making my brother and I pancakes on the weekends. His recipe centered around this infamous blue bag, resident of American pantries nationwide. These pancakes were massive and cooked in lots of butter. Aaron and I would drown the pancakes in this before scampering off to watch Saturday morning cartoons. We also were treated to blue bag pancakes while camping, although with slight alterations: the pancakes would be cooked over a fire and, as a frying agent, Crisco would sub for the butter. The blue bag contents would also be used to coat Arctic grayling bodies, descaled, decapitated, and gutted, before frying in more Crisco.

While these remain my earliest pancake memories, my ingredient choices have shifted. Dramatically. Today, for instance, I made pancakes with flax, peanut butter, coconut milk, and oat flour. The maple syrup came from trees! They were good; I had made them before and liked the recipe enough to keep experimenting.

However, although I’m enjoying my enlightened/high vibrational ingredients,  I really do miss those absolutely perfect, fluffy, delicious blue bag pancakes. How can I combine the best of both worlds?

Is it time to get deep and extrapolate on honoring your past while embracing the present, accepting the old while welcoming the new, incorporating your sum of experience into the eternal now?

I searched “perfect pancakes”. I found this recipe. I mean, it has white flour, and rBGH animal products, and she uses canola oil spray for the griddle, but I think it’s worth a shot. I think I’d like to start with the basics before bringing my personal, working recipe up to snuff. I want to bring the old and new together into a fool-proof, satisfying pancake recipe sure to touch on my personal reminiscent memories while still living up to my admittedly lofty food ideals.

Similar to what I said in my perfect chocolate chip cookie post years ago, The Triple C, eating pancakes is good for women, because it makes them happy. And it’s a great breakfast before kundalini yoga. Good for the shakti.