From The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
A basic precept of intimate communication is that each person owns her (or his) own feelings. No one “makes” you feel jealous or insecure – the person who makes you feel that way is you…You might feel angry, or hurt, or frightened, or guilty. The choice, not usually conscious, happens inside you.
This understanding is not as easy as it sounds. When you feel rotten, it can be hard to accept the responsibility for how you feel: wouldn’t this be easier if it were someone else’s fault? Then maybe that person could fix it, and if not, well, maybe you can go ballistic and vent a little steam and melt the whole relationship down in the process.
The problem is that when you blame someone else for how you feel, you disempower yourself from finding solutions…On the other hand, when you own your feelings, you have lots of choices. You can talk about how you feel, you can choose whether or not to act on those feelings, you can learn how to understand yourself better, you can comfort yourself or ask for comfort. Owning your feelings is basic to understanding the boundaries of where you end and the next person begins and the first step toward self-acceptance and self-love.
These women rock hard. Pick up your copy today! Own those damn feelings of yours!